Sweet & Lowdown
One of my most persistent food issues has to do with artificial sweeteners. When I first became abstinent, they were the least of my worries, but as my abstinence has changed and I have been better able to focus on the nutritional soundness of what I AM eating rather than the “monumental sacrifices” I have made with all the foods I am NOT eating, the more I understand that getting rid of them is in my best interest.
Doesn’t mean I want to do it, though.
At first I looked at my beloved pink packets (the yellow ones make me physically sick and the blue ones just scare me) as what I “deserve” – – the same way I used to look at all foods I wanted to eat – – as if eating them was a reward for good behavior. At that time, I was consuming about 15 packets a day.
About a year into my food plan, I started to look at those packets as “treats” – – something to give myself a little pick-me-up. I could finally recognize that they were not the best choice, but that they did help me stay on track by satisfying the need we all have for sweet-tasting foods. In an odd way, this was growth for me, because it was acknowledging that it was OKAY for me to like sweet things and that, even though I may not have the “perfect” food plan,” I had made one that it was do-able, which, for me, was the most important part. At this point I was down to about 10 packets per day.
After 2 years of abstinence, it finally started to dawn on me that “food equals fuel.” Period. It is not “good.” It is not ” bad.” It is not “a reward” or “a “punishment.” It is not a comforter or something to use to get revenge on others (or myself). It is simply the way I get the nutrients required for my body to work properly. There is nothing EMOTIONAL about it! I am not saying that I have this concept entirely down pat yet, but it is definitely starting to take shape. I have since substituted agave nectar for many of my pink packets (I chose this sweetener because it supposedly has a low glycemic index) and for the past 4 months I have not noticed any difference in cravings. I currently use 3 tablespoons per day, plus 3 pink packets. Not perfection, but definitely progress!
Then, a couple weeks ago, I was at a convenience store and there was a sign for a sugar-free frozen drink made out of diet soda. Hmmmm…
Had to try it. I’m not gonna lie. It was YUMMY!
Next day I had another.
Next day another.
That night I was sick. Must be made of yellow packets. Had to give it up.
Doesn’t mean I wanted to, though.
…and the battle continues….
Hi Sheryl – I really appreciate your honesty….You also have a way with words which keeps things simple….I like that…..at times I can complicate the obvious You’ve done a great job and I can really relate…. for I am also a foodfighter—- One day at a time…Have a great day!
Thanks for stopping by! FOOD FIGHTERS RULE!!