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Sweet & Lowdown

One of my most persistent food issues has to do with artificial sweeteners.  When I first became abstinent, they were the least of my worries, but as my abstinence has changed and I have been better able to focus on the nutritional soundness of what I AM eating rather than the “monumental sacrifices” I have …Continue reading →

How I Became Abstinent (This Time)

For seven years (2002-2008), in addition to being a raging compulsive overeater, I was a raging workaholic and I stopped attending all OA meetings.  Sometimes I tried to restrain my compulsion to overeat, but as the stress at work grew, so did my size.  Not only did I eventually regain all of the 96 pounds I …Continue reading →

Step1, Part 2: “…our lives had become unmanageable.”

The second half of Step 1 has to do with coming to terms with the unmanageability of our food addiction.  For me, this was easier than admitting powerlessness because it was so obvious, not only to others (who could “see” my addiction on my overweight body), but to myself in all the ways that I …Continue reading →

Projection (or “2-Way E.S.P.”)

In my 4th Step, I had listed literally hundreds of people I was resentful at because of what they thought of me.  In Step 5, when I started “giving away” my 4th Step to my sponsor, she kept asking me how I “knew” what people were thinking about me.  Did I come out and ask them what …Continue reading →

“Do you believe in ‘magical thinking?’ “

This was a question my counselor asked me a while back.  I was saying that I didn’t want to “jinx” myself by mentioning that I had finally been abstinent for a few weeks,… and she responded with this question.  I was like, “No, I don’t believe in magical thinking.  It’s just one of those silly …Continue reading →

Lies On My Addiction To Food

Through the process of writing my 4th Step, I uncovered SO, so many lies that I have been living by  – without even knowing that I was living by them.  That’s the scary part.  It’s one thing to know you are lying to yourself, but it’s quite another to have no clue that you’re lying …Continue reading →

“Food Dreams” Are A Gift!

The first time I became abstinent, almost every night I had dreams about bingeing, and then I’d wake-up with a start, actually scared that I had broken my abstinence and had to start all over at day “0” (at the time I was counting days).  It really bothered me whenever it happened, and I often …Continue reading →

This Is NOT A Moral Issue!

Contained within this category of ‘things-I-wish-I-had-been-told-when-I-first-came-into-program’ are items which WERE told to me, whether directly or indirectly, but that I didn’t “hear” until years later.  Such is the case with this idea of morality. For whatever reason, my entire life was spent cowering beneath the shadow of the belief that I was a “bad” person because I could …Continue reading →

What are “The Promises?”

“The Promises” of all 12-Step programs come from “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous.  (You can read all of them by clicking on “The Promises” at the top of this page.)  They are the reason why we go through all the hard work of “doing” the 12 Steps.  Like myself, millions of people in recovery …Continue reading →

“Hat-Blat”

One of the phrases you will hear if you go to a few AA meetings is “H.A.L.T.”  It is a mental reminder designed to help alcoholics kill the urge to drink by asking themselves if they have let themselves become too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely, or too Tired.  I’ve added a couple of things to …Continue reading →