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The Springtime Blues

As I begin to see winter clothes filling the racks in honor of “back-to-school-days,” I feel comforted and cozy.  It happens every year.  No matter how blah I may have been feeling, when I enter a store and see sweaters and long pants, mittens and scarves, and my personal favorite, boots, I suddenly feel like…AHHHHHH! Why?  Because …Continue reading →

0
30
Aug

“STOP IT!!”

I used to view my negative thought patterns in much the same way I viewed my eating disorder: as something that was beyond my control.  Now, for the first time in my life, I am realizing that there are no “good” or “bad” thoughts/feelings, just as there are no “good” or “bad” foods – – there …Continue reading →

0
20
Jun

I Was A Human Garbage Disposal

I don’t know when I started eating food out of the garbage, but one day it just happened… and it kept going for years. My first garbage-picking memory starts out nice enough.  Every Saturday night my family would gather downstairs to watch a show or movie and mom would make pigs-in-a-blanket.  That tradition is one …Continue reading →

0
13
Jun

Sweet & Lowdown

One of my most persistent food issues has to do with artificial sweeteners.  When I first became abstinent, they were the least of my worries, but as my abstinence has changed and I have been better able to focus on the nutritional soundness of what I AM eating rather than the “monumental sacrifices” I have …Continue reading →

2
13
Jun

Working In The FRONT Yard!

For as far back as I can remember, I have always hated doing yard work in the front yard.  Even when I lived with my parents on a quiet side street with friendly neighbors, I always felt like I had to be on-the-lookout for someone who might “see me” as I worked “out in the open” …Continue reading →

0
13
Jun

“The Self-Centered Blogger” – – Isn’t That Redundant?

Ever since I started writing this blog, I can’t help noticing the parallels between blogging and self-centeredness.  But before I get into that, let me explain what I have learned about this “self-centeredness” (a.k.a., my biggest character defect of them all). Through the process of doing The 12 Steps, I was horrified to learn that my main character defect was …Continue reading →

0
04
Jun

Choice vs. Punishment

This may seem like a small thing, but it has made a huge difference in my life…so I think it is well worth your while to spend some time meditating on this concept that took me 24 years to figure-out… ABSTINENCE  IS  A  CHOICE,  NOT  A  PUNISHMENT ! ! ! As both a child and a …Continue reading →

0
04
Jun

My Thin Evil Twin

In my entire 44-and-a-half years of life, the closest I ever got to my ideal weight was within 10 pounds in the summer of 1989, after a solid year of white-knuckling-it in program.  It lasted a 3 whole months.  And that was just enough time for me to meet… . . . MY THIN EVIL TWIN …Continue reading →

2
04
Jun

Fat Clothes / Skinny Clothes

I have often heard it said that a good food addict has an entire closet-full of clothes that range from their smallest size to their largest size because they never know what size they are going to be from year to year (or sometimes, from month to month).  That was me.  I had everything from …Continue reading →

1
30
May

How I Became Abstinent (This Time)

For seven years (2002-2008), in addition to being a raging compulsive overeater, I was a raging workaholic and I stopped attending all OA meetings.  Sometimes I tried to restrain my compulsion to overeat, but as the stress at work grew, so did my size.  Not only did I eventually regain all of the 96 pounds I …Continue reading →

0
21
May
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