Fat Clothes / Skinny Clothes

I have often heard it said that a good food addict has an entire closet-full of clothes that range from their smallest size to their largest size because they never know what size they are going to be from year to year (or sometimes, from month to month).  That was me.  I had everything from a svelte size 12 pants to a tent-like size 32 top, all hanging in my closet, all the time.

Do you know how that makes you feel – – to look into that closet, day after day, week after week, month after month…and see all the things you CAN’T wear?!  Talk about self-sabotage!!

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard about this “condition” was to do a closet clean-out and only keep things in there that you have worn in the past 12 months.  WOW!  What a novel idea that was for me!  I have always had a fear of clothes shopping (that’s another post for another day), so it’s not like I had tons of clothes to start with.  But once I finally decided to go through the clothes I did have, I was shocked to find that I hardly had ANYTHING to wear!  I mean, even though I had several things in my current size, the TRUTH of the matter is that I had only been wearing the same 3 shirts and 3 pairs of pants for months!  The other items that fit were things that I didn’t even LIKE!  In a way, it was like the overflow of wrong-sized clothing allowed me to ignore the fact that I was out of clothes and needed to buy some more, simply as a means of taking care of myself!  (Is it me, or is there a hidden meaning in that “overflow” being a distraction/excuse for not dealing with the real problem – – like food used to be?)

More hurtful to me were the two large bins of “skinny clothes” that I kept at the bottom of my closet.  Over the years, I moved them from apartment to apartment, from house to house, always hoping that some day I would magically fit back into these clothes that I only wore for about SIX MINUTES in my twenties!  I finally realized how unhealthy this whole thing was and went through all of the items.  Half of them were totally out-dated (although, have you seen some of the fashions lately?  Lookin’ pretty Cyndi Lauper-ish, if you ask me!) and most of the rest I didn’t really care about so I donated them to charity.  I did, however, allow myself to keep three things I really liked.  I folded them neatly and tucked them into a corner on the top shelf.

By the way – – if I ever DO get to my goal weight, don’t you think that I’d like to go buy some nice NEW clothes?!  Insanity at every turn!!

Nowadays my closet is still not full, but at least everything in it fits me.  When I get some extra cash, one of my goals for this year is to go out, by myself, and do at least a couple days’-worth of serious clothes shopping – – I am talking about the kind where you actually try things on and spend a good amount of time going to different stores in search of the perfect fit.  I don’t think I have ever done that in my entire life.  But today I am actually looking forward to it.  And that new attitude is all thanks to OA and my awesome Higher Power!

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What’s in YOUR closet?!

May 30, 2012 This post was written by Categories: Leftovers Tagged with:
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