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perfectionism

“I joined a GYM!”

Over the years, I have joined a few gyms.  I liked a couple but hated most.  I never was one who enjoyed exercise (especially when done <GASP!> in public!!).  The only thing I ever took-to was jogging, probably because it can be a pretty solitary thing, and that I did sporatically and obsessively.  (Nowadays my feet …Continue reading →

1
24
Jun

Prozac vs Perfectionism

It took me almost two full years of suffering with severe anxiety to finally go on anti-depressant medication at the age of 23.  And that was only after the continuous urgings of a good friend.  But I never really accepted the fact that I really needed this medication…until now. Up until last year, I would still …Continue reading →

2
22
Jun

Sweet & Lowdown

One of my most persistent food issues has to do with artificial sweeteners.  When I first became abstinent, they were the least of my worries, but as my abstinence has changed and I have been better able to focus on the nutritional soundness of what I AM eating rather than the “monumental sacrifices” I have …Continue reading →

2
13
Jun

Summer Of The Measured Binges

WARNING!  BINGE FOODS MENTIONED HERE!! The summer after 11th grade, as I swam in the backyard pool, my mind was swimming with visions of a thin senior year.  As was my custom, I vowed some time during the last week of school to stick to a strict diet of carrot sticks and water for the entire …Continue reading →

0
20
May

“I can see it in your face.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have lost large amounts of weight (I am talking over 50 pounds, here), only to hear these fatal words.  At first my hopes soar as someone says, “Hey!  You look like you lost weight!”  Then they crash and burn when I hear, “I can really see it …Continue reading →

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22
Apr

Gum-Chewing (And Other Abstinent Obsessions)

The very first time I became abstinent, I developed all kinds of other weird obsessions without even realizing it.  The first one was eating sugar-free mints.  I specifically remember asking my mom to get me a whole bunch at Christmas & Easter time so I would have something to pop in my mouth instead of …Continue reading →

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18
Apr

“Only ONE pound?!” – Pt. 1

My abstinent food plan calls for me to only weigh myself at my counselor’s office.  Since I only see her roughly once every six-to-eight weeks, I have been forced to give-up the majority of the obsessive behaviors related to getting weighed, like getting on the scale daily (or more), using calories to try to calculate …Continue reading →

2
12
Apr

God Loves YOU!

Before I could even begin to approach the subject of believing in a Higher Power that loved me, I had to break-through a much more basic philosophical argument: why would a Higher Power be interested in helping me with something as mundane as my battle with weight?  Didn’t He/She/It have better things to deal with, …Continue reading →

1
07
Apr

How I Became A Christian

Just before I came back to OA, a dear friend kept trying to convince me to check-out Christian speaker Joel Osteen (see Inspirational Links, if interested).  I finally reluctantly agreed.  To my surprise, after seeing his show, I realized that this was the first time in my life that I had ever walked-away from a Christian …Continue reading →

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05
Apr

Projection (or “2-Way E.S.P.”)

In my 4th Step, I had listed literally hundreds of people I was resentful at because of what they thought of me.  In Step 5, when I started “giving away” my 4th Step to my sponsor, she kept asking me how I “knew” what people were thinking about me.  Did I come out and ask them what …Continue reading →

0
30
Mar
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