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Higher Power

Fat Clothes / Skinny Clothes

I have often heard it said that a good food addict has an entire closet-full of clothes that range from their smallest size to their largest size because they never know what size they are going to be from year to year (or sometimes, from month to month).  That was me.  I had everything from …Continue reading →

1
30
May

How I Became Abstinent (This Time)

For seven years (2002-2008), in addition to being a raging compulsive overeater, I was a raging workaholic and I stopped attending all OA meetings.  Sometimes I tried to restrain my compulsion to overeat, but as the stress at work grew, so did my size.  Not only did I eventually regain all of the 96 pounds I …Continue reading →

0
21
May

I “Forgot” My Weight!

Last week I experienced a true miracle I’d like to share.  But first,…some background. Ever since I lost 75 pounds over a year ago, I have been asked to speak at several meetings, even though I still have almost the same amount of weight to lose.  This has always made me uncomfortable.  On the one hand, I’d …Continue reading →

4
19
May

Why I Don’t Drink

I often mention that I have never gotten high or drunk in my blog posts, but I think it is important for my readers to understand how this came about.  Looking back, I feel that it was the work of my Higher Power that protected me from these two horrible addictions, but at the time …Continue reading →

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10
May

Emotional Bingeing

Even though I have stopped bingeing on food, I sometimes continue to binge on negative emotions.   Facing and fixing this fact is my current project, and unfortunately, I don’t think it will ever be completed.  Since I have “put down the food,” I have noticed my tendency to overreact to people, places and things.  I …Continue reading →

1
01
May

Cross Moth

Late one evening last summer, I was coming home from a night out with my parents.  As I approached the house, I noticed a moth with unusual markings on its wings perched on my door.  It was dark out, but even by the dim patio light I could see that the design resembled that of …Continue reading →

17
29
Apr

Step 2, Part 1: “Came to believe…”

When I first came into program, I considered myself to be an atheist.  Through going to meetings and reading The Big Book, I discovered that I was really an agnostic.  This meant that I believed that the existence of God could not be proven, but that I was at least open to the possibility that …Continue reading →

0
28
Apr

I Can’t Blame My Family

Coming back to OA after a 100-pound-plus weight-gain was not easy – I’m not going to lie.  But once I was there, because I was a lot older and more worldly (I can’t honestly say “wiser”), I found it to be much easier this time to make friends.  Due to the inherent stunting powers of this …Continue reading →

0
25
Apr

“I can see it in your face.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have lost large amounts of weight (I am talking over 50 pounds, here), only to hear these fatal words.  At first my hopes soar as someone says, “Hey!  You look like you lost weight!”  Then they crash and burn when I hear, “I can really see it …Continue reading →

18
22
Apr

“But I DESERVE it!”

This lie has lessened in me, but still lingers to this day.  There is still a small part of me that thinks that I should be “allowed” to eat whatever I want – or maybe a better way of saying it would be that I think I should be “exempt” from having to eat healthy, …Continue reading →

1
21
Apr
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