The 12 Steps of Recovery

My Imaginary Audience

When I was in college, I took a class called “Adolescent Psychology.”  That’s the first time I ever heard of the concept of an “imaginary audience.”  And as soon as I heard it, I knew I had it – and always had.  It is the idea of thinking you are always on-stage.  That everything you do is …Continue reading →

What I Got Out Of Food

This idea was extremely difficult for me to understand.  For years and years I have been to counselors who tried to get to the bottom of why I ate so much.  They all said, in one way or another, that I must be getting something out of overeating or else I wouldn’t be doing it.  …Continue reading →

There Are No Obese Lions

Ever notice that there are no obese lions out in the wild? No overweight gazelles trying to outrun them? No fat prairie dogs peeking out of the ground? With the exception of hibernation, I don’t think there are any cases of wild animal obesity, do you?  I mean, I haven’t researched this, so maybe it …Continue reading →

“I joined a GYM!”

Over the years, I have joined a few gyms.  I liked a couple but hated most.  I never was one who enjoyed exercise (especially when done <GASP!> in public!!).  The only thing I ever took-to was jogging, probably because it can be a pretty solitary thing, and that I did sporatically and obsessively.  (Nowadays my feet …Continue reading →

Working In The FRONT Yard!

For as far back as I can remember, I have always hated doing yard work in the front yard.  Even when I lived with my parents on a quiet side street with friendly neighbors, I always felt like I had to be on-the-lookout for someone who might “see me” as I worked “out in the open” …Continue reading →

“If we are painstaking…”

So begin the promises of AA (and all 12-Step programs).  On the bottom of page 83 of The Big Book, you can read all of them (or just click on “The Promises” at the top of this page).  They are the whole reason why those of us in program continue to fight, one day at …Continue reading →

“The Self-Centered Blogger” – – Isn’t That Redundant?

Ever since I started writing this blog, I can’t help noticing the parallels between blogging and self-centeredness.  But before I get into that, let me explain what I have learned about this “self-centeredness” (a.k.a., my biggest character defect of them all). Through the process of doing The 12 Steps, I was horrified to learn that my main character defect was …Continue reading →

“…before we are halfway through.”

For years in program, I thought that this part of the Big Book promises referred to being halfway through doing the steps (which would be at the end of Step 6).  But if you read this line within the context of the chapter it’s in and what is being discussed prior, it becomes clear that it …Continue reading →

The Horror Of Pumping Gas

When I was in college, I was so emotionally crippled by my food addiction that I couldn’t even go out in public unless I was with someone.  I am not talking about agoraphobia here.  I was not afraid to leave the house.  I was afraid of being seen.  I was afraid of what people were …Continue reading →

My Earliest Binge Memory

Following is a description of my first compulsive overeating memory.  It is very early on a Saturday or Sunday morning and my parents are asleep.  I can’t remember being in my bed, what got me up, what I was thinking as I tip-toed to the fridge, or why I was craving what I ate.  I …Continue reading →