The Horror Of Pumping Gas

When I was in college, I was so emotionally crippled by my food addiction that I couldn’t even go out in public unless I was with someone.  I am not talking about agoraphobia here.  I was not afraid to leave the house.  I was afraid of being seen.  I was afraid of what people were thinking about me and what I looked like.  It was to the point that I would never get out of my car for anything if I was by myself.  Pumping gas is my favorite example.  Looking back, I think that I actually had developed some kind of phobia about it, especially if there was a line of cars at the gas station.  What is there for the person waiting to pump gas to do but watch the person in front of them?!  So to be the person with pump-in-hand…?  The HORROR!!

Today my life is completely different, and it is all thanks to this program.  Much of that change came-about even before I worked the steps.  Just being around fellow recovering addicts had a positive impact on me.  It made me more comfortable in my own skin and it gave me the confidence to tell myself that I am just as important and worthy of gas-pumping as the next person!  That was a big revelation to me (as crazy as it sounds).

So even if you have not yet mustered-up the motivation to get crackin’ on those 12 life-changing steps, just keep coming!  Little by little, a new outlook will begin to sink-in to your psyche, and before you know it, you are going to WANT to change…for the better!

May 29, 2012 This post was written by Categories: Tales of Terror: My Days as an Active Addict Tagged with:
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>