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Summer Of The Measured Binges

WARNING!  BINGE FOODS MENTIONED HERE!! The summer after 11th grade, as I swam in the backyard pool, my mind was swimming with visions of a thin senior year.  As was my custom, I vowed some time during the last week of school to stick to a strict diet of carrot sticks and water for the entire …Continue reading →

0
20
May

My Last Diet

Without mentioning any names, I want to share with you what it was like during my last attempt to lose weight through dieting.  (This was about seven years ago, during one of my OA “vacations.”)  It was through the use of a famous program that I’m sure has helped thousands of people.  I just happened …Continue reading →

3
20
May

No Raffle Tickets For Me!

At an OA anniversary meeting several months ago, a good friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go up and buy a couple raffle tickets with her.  I casually blurted-out my standard line, “I don’t buy raffle tickets,” and didn’t think anything of it.  I noticed that she wasn’t getting up to buy …Continue reading →

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10
May

Cookout Pigout

WARNING!  BINGE FOODS ALERT! Here is how I used to act-out my food addiction at the typical family cookout in my ‘tweens… My first order of business was always to volunteer for the jobs that would allow me to “feed” my habit.  I usually got my way, too, since I was the oldest, and because I …Continue reading →

2
03
May

“I can see it in your face.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have lost large amounts of weight (I am talking over 50 pounds, here), only to hear these fatal words.  At first my hopes soar as someone says, “Hey!  You look like you lost weight!”  Then they crash and burn when I hear, “I can really see it …Continue reading →

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22
Apr

Gum-Chewing (And Other Abstinent Obsessions)

The very first time I became abstinent, I developed all kinds of other weird obsessions without even realizing it.  The first one was eating sugar-free mints.  I specifically remember asking my mom to get me a whole bunch at Christmas & Easter time so I would have something to pop in my mouth instead of …Continue reading →

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18
Apr

“Only ONE pound?!” – Pt. 1

My abstinent food plan calls for me to only weigh myself at my counselor’s office.  Since I only see her roughly once every six-to-eight weeks, I have been forced to give-up the majority of the obsessive behaviors related to getting weighed, like getting on the scale daily (or more), using calories to try to calculate …Continue reading →

2
12
Apr

The Easter 12

When I was 12 years old, I was in what was to be one of the many commercial diet clubs I’d try during my lifetime (this particular time was almost exactly 33 years ago to the day, by the way).  I obviously did not yet have enough “food smarts” to wait until after that annual chocolate-fest …Continue reading →

3
04
Apr

Step1, Part 2: “…our lives had become unmanageable.”

The second half of Step 1 has to do with coming to terms with the unmanageability of our food addiction.  For me, this was easier than admitting powerlessness because it was so obvious, not only to others (who could “see” my addiction on my overweight body), but to myself in all the ways that I …Continue reading →

2
02
Apr

Projection (or “2-Way E.S.P.”)

In my 4th Step, I had listed literally hundreds of people I was resentful at because of what they thought of me.  In Step 5, when I started “giving away” my 4th Step to my sponsor, she kept asking me how I “knew” what people were thinking about me.  Did I come out and ask them what …Continue reading →

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30
Mar
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