character defect

Step1, Part 2: “…our lives had become unmanageable.”

The second half of Step 1 has to do with coming to terms with the unmanageability of our food addiction. For me, this was easier than admitting powerlessness because it was so obvious, not only to others (who could “see” my addiction on my overweight body), but to myself in all the ways that I …Continue reading →

Apr

Projection (or “2-Way E.S.P.”)

In my 4th Step, I had listed literally hundreds of people I was resentful at because of what they thought of me. In Step 5, when I started “giving away” my 4th Step to my sponsor, she kept asking me how I “knew” what people were thinking about me. Did I come out and ask them what …Continue reading →

Mar

Step 1, Part 1: “…we were powerless…”

By virtue of the fact that you are “doing” Step 1, I think it is first important to give credit where credit is due: Congratulations! You have obviously made three very important decisions: to be open-minded about the 12-Step process, to at least try this new approach, and to change from a mindset of perfectionism …Continue reading →

Mar

This Is NOT A Moral Issue!

Contained within this category of ‘things-I-wish-I-had-been-told-when-I-first-came-into-program’ are items which WERE told to me, whether directly or indirectly, but that I didn’t “hear” until years later. Such is the case with this idea of morality. For whatever reason, my entire life was spent cowering beneath the shadow of the belief that I was a “bad” person because I could …Continue reading →

Mar

What are “The Promises?”

“The Promises” of all 12-Step programs come from “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous. (You can read all of them by clicking on “The Promises” at the top of this page.) They are the reason why we go through all the hard work of “doing” the 12 Steps. Like myself, millions of people in recovery …Continue reading →

Mar

Bad Sponsors

I hate to write the following, but it is a fact of 12-Step life. Despite your best efforts, more likely than not, at some point in your recovery, one of your sponsors is bound to let you down. Or worse. Once again, you must never lose sight of the fact that sponsors are people in …Continue reading →

Mar

Be Prepared!

One of the best things you can do for yourself as you begin your new abstinent life is to make sure that your cupboards and your fridge are stocked with plenty of abstinent food. Following your food plan involves a lot more than just resisting you binge foods. It also requires that you be pro-active …Continue reading →

Mar

“That Still, Small Voice”

About a year ago, I started “hearing from God.” Doesn’t that sound so crazy? Like I think I am actually in communication with The Great Creator?! If someone had told me the same thing only a few short months ago, I would have been the first to say there was something wrong with them. After …Continue reading →

Mar

Stop “Measuring” Yourself!

One of the toughest things for food addicts to give-up is our impulse to measure ourselves, whether by getting on a scale, using a measuring tape, counting calories, monitoring our time at the gym, graphing our progress, projecting how long it will take us to lose a certain amount of weight, or marking the number …Continue reading →

Mar

Forget What You Know (a.k.a. “Step 0.5″)

As you cross the threshhold into your first 12-Step meeting, try to leave all your mental baggage at the door. (You can have it back on your way out, I promise!) Just try for that hour or that hour-and-a half to put aside all of your pre-conceived ideas about what you expect to get from …Continue reading →

Mar

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