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My Imaginary Audience

When I was in college, I took a class called “Adolescent Psychology.”  That’s the first time I ever heard of the concept of an “imaginary audience.”  And as soon as I heard it, I knew I had it – and always had.  It is the idea of thinking you are always on-stage.  That everything you do is …Continue reading →

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03
Jul

Bad Motives

Several months ago, a friend called me to let me know that she had given my business card to a potential property management client.  Of course I was thrilled.  We are a relatively new company and we really appreciate all the leads we can get.  A few days later she called back to see if the …Continue reading →

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22
Jun

How I Became Abstinent (This Time)

For seven years (2002-2008), in addition to being a raging compulsive overeater, I was a raging workaholic and I stopped attending all OA meetings.  Sometimes I tried to restrain my compulsion to overeat, but as the stress at work grew, so did my size.  Not only did I eventually regain all of the 96 pounds I …Continue reading →

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21
May

I “Forgot” My Weight!

Last week I experienced a true miracle I’d like to share.  But first,…some background. Ever since I lost 75 pounds over a year ago, I have been asked to speak at several meetings, even though I still have almost the same amount of weight to lose.  This has always made me uncomfortable.  On the one hand, I’d …Continue reading →

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19
May

Cross Moth

Late one evening last summer, I was coming home from a night out with my parents.  As I approached the house, I noticed a moth with unusual markings on its wings perched on my door.  It was dark out, but even by the dim patio light I could see that the design resembled that of …Continue reading →

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29
Apr

Step 2, Part 1: “Came to believe…”

When I first came into program, I considered myself to be an atheist.  Through going to meetings and reading The Big Book, I discovered that I was really an agnostic.  This meant that I believed that the existence of God could not be proven, but that I was at least open to the possibility that …Continue reading →

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28
Apr

“But I DESERVE it!”

This lie has lessened in me, but still lingers to this day.  There is still a small part of me that thinks that I should be “allowed” to eat whatever I want – or maybe a better way of saying it would be that I think I should be “exempt” from having to eat healthy, …Continue reading →

1
21
Apr

“ONLY one pound?!” – Pt. 2

After writing “Only ONE pound?!,” I realized that, if I said that same sentence with the emphasis on the first word rather than on the second (“ONLY one pound?!”), then I would have the opposite side of the same coin.  If I got on that same scale and GAINED a pound rahter than LOST a pound, …Continue reading →

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21
Apr

Gum-Chewing (And Other Abstinent Obsessions)

The very first time I became abstinent, I developed all kinds of other weird obsessions without even realizing it.  The first one was eating sugar-free mints.  I specifically remember asking my mom to get me a whole bunch at Christmas & Easter time so I would have something to pop in my mouth instead of …Continue reading →

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18
Apr

“Only ONE pound?!” – Pt. 1

My abstinent food plan calls for me to only weigh myself at my counselor’s office.  Since I only see her roughly once every six-to-eight weeks, I have been forced to give-up the majority of the obsessive behaviors related to getting weighed, like getting on the scale daily (or more), using calories to try to calculate …Continue reading →

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12
Apr
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