Diary of a Food-FighterBeauty And “The Beast”
In 1990, I got my first teaching job at a wonderful local preschool. I was so excited. But on my first day, I was scared to death that the children wouldn’t like me. Luckily, my best friend (who just happened to be the person training me) told me exactly what I needed to hear – – that children love unconditionally, so I didn’t need to be afraid. She said that they would love me because that’s just what children do. And she was absolutely right.
Too bad the same can’t be said for adults.
In all fairness, there was only one fellow teacher who really hurt me, not because she was trying to be mean, but because what she said to me represented all of my greatest fears. I can’t tell you how hard her words hit me. I think my inside reaction (God forbid I should show any outward sign that my feelings were hurt!) scared even me, even though she was merely verbalizing what I had been thinking about myself for my entire life.
For whatever reason, on that particular day, as we sat in that empty classroom together waiting for the first students to arrive, she decided to tell me exactly what she had been thinking about me for the past few months. The conversation went something like this:
HER: Can I tell you something?
ME: Sure.
HER: Do you remember when you started here last year?
ME: Yeah…
HER: You want to know what I honestly thought of you when I first saw you?
ME: …uh…
HER: No, it’s good. Listen to this. When you walked in that first day and I met you and saw how big you were, I was like, “Oh my God! These poor kids! They’re gonna be SO scared of their OWN teacher!” I just felt so bad for them, ya know what I mean?
ME: …uh…
HER: …so I just wanted you to know…now that I ‘ve gotten to know you and see how you are with the kids and how much they love you, I can finally see beyond what you look like. You are a beautiful, caring person inside, and that’s all that counts, right?
ME: …uh…
HER: Come here! Give me a hug! I love you so much!
ME: …uh…
The funny thing is, I really did like this woman, a lot, and still do, which made it hurt all-the-more. But even as she was saying it, I could tell that she really believed that she was giving me a complement and that she really thought what she was saying was going to make me feel better about myself.
It didn’t.
April 18, 2012
This post was written by Sheryl
Categories: Tales of Terror: My Days as an Active Addict
Tagged with: bullying • food addict • OA • personal stories
8 comments
That person was completely ignorant.
Hey the first time we met I thought now we are going to have some fun here at HS. Anna down the hall and you and I accross the hall from each other. The most fun, best teaching that HS ever had, just saying. We should try to have some fun soon. Great job you are doing here on your page.
Hey the first time we met at HS I thought we are going to have lots of fun and that we did.So much enjoyed the times there when we all worked together.Some of the better times that HS ever had if I don’t say so. Anna down the hall you accross from my room, OMG. Okay doing a greatness here on your page.
Thanks so much, Pam. We did have some fun there. Thanks for stopping by to support my blog. I really appreciate it. Hope to see you soon.
Who is this teacher I wanna punch her in the face!!! Errr that made me mad. Sheryl you are beautiful on the inside AND out. She is shallow. I love you
Jamie
Thanks Sheryl for your openness. That must have been so hurtful. You have always been an extemely beautiful and loving woman on the inside and out.! Love you! Laurie
You are very welcome, Laurie. And thank you for saying that. Love you and miss you. Hope to get together with you soon.
Hahaha! Thank you, Miss Jamie, but I forgave her even as she was saying it because I really sensed that she thought she was being kind. Too bad I can’t forgive AND forget. Thanks for always being so supportive. I am lucky to have you in my life.