personal stories

The Springtime Blues

As I begin to see winter clothes filling the racks in honor of “back-to-school-days,” I feel comforted and cozy. It happens every year. No matter how blah I may have been feeling, when I enter a store and see sweaters and long pants, mittens and scarves, and my personal favorite, boots, I suddenly feel like…AHHHHHH! Why? Because …Continue reading →

Aug

My Imaginary Audience

When I was in college, I took a class called “Adolescent Psychology.” That’s the first time I ever heard of the concept of an “imaginary audience.” And as soon as I heard it, I knew I had it – and always had. It is the idea of thinking you are always on-stage. That everything you do is …Continue reading →

Jul

What I Got Out Of Food

This idea was extremely difficult for me to understand. For years and years I have been to counselors who tried to get to the bottom of why I ate so much. They all said, in one way or another, that I must be getting something out of overeating or else I wouldn’t be doing it. …Continue reading →

Jul

Prozac vs Perfectionism

It took me almost two full years of suffering with severe anxiety to finally go on anti-depressant medication at the age of 23. And that was only after the continuous urgings of a good friend. But I never really accepted the fact that I really needed this medication…until now. Up until last year, I would still …Continue reading →

Jun

“STOP IT!!”

I used to view my negative thought patterns in much the same way I viewed my eating disorder: as something that was beyond my control. Now, for the first time in my life, I am realizing that there are no “good” or “bad” thoughts/feelings, just as there are no “good” or “bad” foods – – there …Continue reading →

Jun

The Drunken Remark

Way back when in the early 1990’s, the guy I was dating at the time suggested we go to a local bar that was attached to a bowling alley. I was not thrilled, but at least I thought it would be interesting to see what it was like inside this place that I had driven-by …Continue reading →

Jun

Compulsive Overeating vs Binge Eating Disorder

You’re never too old to learn something new…. In all my years around program, I never knew until recently (and only after doing my own research on the Internet) that there are two different labels used by mental health professionals to describe abnormal eating behaviors. Here they are: Compulsive Overeating. Those diagnosed as “compulsive overeaters” …Continue reading →

Jun

I Was A Human Garbage Disposal

I don’t know when I started eating food out of the garbage, but one day it just happened… and it kept going for years. My first garbage-picking memory starts out nice enough. Every Saturday night my family would gather downstairs to watch a show or movie and mom would make pigs-in-a-blanket. That tradition is one …Continue reading →

Jun

Working In The FRONT Yard!

For as far back as I can remember, I have always hated doing yard work in the front yard. Even when I lived with my parents on a quiet side street with friendly neighbors, I always felt like I had to be on-the-lookout for someone who might “see me” as I worked “out in the open” …Continue reading →

Jun

“The Self-Centered Blogger” – – Isn’t That Redundant?

Ever since I started writing this blog, I can’t help noticing the parallels between blogging and self-centeredness. But before I get into that, let me explain what I have learned about this “self-centeredness” (a.k.a., my biggest character defect of them all). Through the process of doing The 12 Steps, I was horrified to learn that my main character defect was …Continue reading →

Jun

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