A “sponsor” is a person you call and meet with for support.  You choose a sponsor based upon hearing them speak at meetings and seeing something in that person that you would like to have for yourself.  For example, potential sponsors may have lost and kept-off a large amount of weight, or maybe they have conquered an addiction to taking laxatives or vomiting (or “purging”) and are maintaining a normal weight, or maybe they survived some type of tragedy without falling-back into their addiction.  Whatever you want in your own life should be your guide in choosing a sponsor.  This takes time.  You need to observe these people for at least a few meetings to get a feeling of what they have to offer.  Remember, this whole process is a long journey, so take your time.  (But not TOO long!)  You’ll know when the time is right, IF you’ve been letting your HIgher Power in-on this process.  When you have decided on someone you’d like to guide you either with your food or through the 12 Steps (or both), simply go up to them and ask them if they will be your sponsor.  Some meetings ask available sponsors to raise their hands at the end of the meeting, but others do not.  Either way, it is not important.  If the person you want to ask did not raise his/her hand, ask anyway.  Many people are willing to be a “temporary sponsor”  (someone you can call while you are looking for a permanent sponsor), and oftentimes, temporary sponsors become permanent sponsors.

In OA, there are at least three different types of sponsors that I know of.  The first is a “food sponsor.”  This person is someone who may help you develop a food plan.  He/she may also be the person you call or email daily, telling him/her exactly what and how much you are going to eat.  If you feel that you must veer-off your “committed” plan, you are usually told to call this sponsor BEFORE you make any changes and get approval first.  This sponsor is also the person you tell when you do NOT eat what you have committed (or when you eat MORE or LESS than you committed).  The name of the game here is “honesty.”  If you are not open and honest with your food sponsor about what you are eating, the whole process breaks down and you will not recover.  That is why it is so important to find a sponsor you can trust.

The second type of sponsor is a “step sponsor.”  This person is someone who walks you through exactly what you need to do to complete each of the 12 steps.  Again, because you will be sharing intimate personal information with this person, it is imperative that you choose someone you feel comfortable with.  You will not usually call this person daily.  It is more like a mentor relationship in that these sponsors will usually give you assignments to complete and a date for the two of you to get together to review what you have done.

The final type of sponsor is a combination of the two.  When I first came into program, I had this last type, so that the person I called my food in to daily was the same person who was guiding me through the steps.  Now, however, I see the benefit of having two different sponsors.  Again, it all comes down to whatever works for you and your own particular brand of sickness.  For me, if I ever went off course with my food plan, that was an excuse for me to not call my sponsor, and therefore, I’d stop working the steps.  However, with a separate step sponsor, it is more likely that I will at least stay on the beam with regard to my stepwork even if I fall into relapse.  I liken it to the relationship I used to have with exercise – – I tied it to what I ate.  If I was “good” (a.k.a., stuck to my “diet,”), I would exercise.  If I was “bad,” why bother?  But the reality is that I need to exercise no matter WHAT I am eating.  The two are separate actions that I take as part of a healthy lifestyle.

P.S.  Technically, there is no mention of the word “sponsor” in the Big Book – – there are only people who guide you through doing the12 Steps the same way that they did them.  I really like this fact, especially because it eliminates both the tendency for sponsors to think too highly of themselves, and the tendency of sponsees to put their sponsors on pedestals.  However, I have seen people use this fact as an excuse not to get a sponsor at all, and that always leads to weak recovery in the end.  Remember: a sick mind cannot fix itself.